Yesterday (which is still today for me) I went to Guadalupe and participated in my first sweat lodge experience. It was a small and intimate gathering of people. Four women including myself and three men. I went in for 6 sweats. The fifth was the longest and the hottest. I felt myself gasping for breath and praying for the door to open again. I did my best to sit up the entire time. I only laid down in the last sweat. It seemed each time that it got easier. And it also seemed each time that it got harder. I find humor in that irony. As each sitting began, I could feel my flight response kick in. But like a log I sat. I wish I could go back today and every day to do it. The sweat director is an Indian man named JR. He is a good natured man that is open to all peoples and wishes to teach the right ways and to continue on his traditions as a sun dancer and lodge leader. I also believe that JR is a missing piece in my own personal equation. I was waiting for this piece to show up and now he's here. Things seem much clearer now and I feel that I can make my pilgrimage plans a little more concrete.

At current, my time line is unfolding as such:
June 18th - last day of work
June 19th - ? go to the cave ?
June 20th - Celebrate Equinox with the sweat people in Maricopa
June 21st - Go to Peyote Way Church for a week to volunteer
June 29th - Go to a ranch and herd sheep
July ???? - ? Open To Suggestion ?

So after I'm done herding sheep, I want to do some more things. It would be nice to stay for a week anywhere I go. If anyone knows of a place where I could stay for cheap or volunteer basis, please let me know about such a place. I'm especially interested in temples and monasteries - though I would also be open to an individual. If it is out of state I am willing to travel. I don't need much aside from a quiet little space to sleep and the ability to bath and wash my clothes. I'm saving up money so that I will not be a burden on anyone's food source although if someone were willing to feed me that would be really great. After all, I am quitting my job and there won't be another pay check to recover from such a venture. When I'm done with this pilgrimage, my goal is to start pretty rigorous in-town training to be a healer and I want to avoid working during that time. That training is still being formulated. My main focus will be on acupuncture, native medicine, and yoga. In time my goal is to travel to other places in order to learn from healers in those places. So if you have some beans, now is the time to spill them!

Arizona is so beautiful.

My final scores in the two classes that I took are:
Math - 87.9
English - 90.2

I'm actually a little disappointed in my performance. I think that I could have done better. I try to keep in mind that over the past month I had 10 days of which I had to entertain an out-of-towner, had personal turmoils with three people(how does that even happen in the same month?), and my computer got all sorts of messed up. My math final was done at the last minute at my friend Wolffe's casa. When I look at all that it seems like I did pretty good but the drill sargent in my brain scolds "Worm!!! Drop down and give me 20... you call that tough?!? I'll show you tough! Try going to school full time, whimpy girl."

I guess I should do some push-ups today or something. ;)

+ + +
Edit: Math final score is 89.5.

A while back I hung a ceramic that says "May this house, to every guest, be a place of peace and rest". Thats when guests started showing up. About once a week I get a home full of friends. Tonight I had three friends show up. I was lucky to find that I had enough salmon for everyone. We made rice with blackened Jamaican jerk fish. Its really nice to enjoy company and to offer hospitality. It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Check out this really amazing performance, be sure to put on your own music to it though:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=24SoPihLdq4

A couple of days ago I started getting this weird porn shit on my computer that none of my programs can seem to locate or get rid of. Now I'm getting these messages from Windows XP stuff stating that I need to purchase their products to get rid of it. It seems legitimate but it also seems like an act of Microsoft piracy. Am I being swindled??? Or should I give Microsoft my money?

Where does plastic really come from anyway? In the assumption that it at some point was derived from something indigenous to Earth - where does it take its roots? According to Zoe, it comes from glue. According to some guy it comes from styrofoam.  According to Wikipedia its just a mess of various ideas.  But if it did come from Earth, then it must have been something else before it was an idea.  What plants went into making plastic, I wonder?

One of the defining moments in my childhood was when the African tribal music group came to my elementary school. I remember that they smelled and looked different from any other human I'd ever come across. In a sense it was scary because it was unfamiliar - especially the smells. In another sense it was mystical and uplifting. I remember they played some traditional African songs in their native languages. Then they taught us how to play instruments and we all played songs for our families in an essembly.



The chorus of this song sounds like a traditional African song. Its a beautiful harmony that speaks into the soul. It goes beyond the words of the song or the meaning behind it. It shows me a warm day in a place where there are no buildings and streets. Where life is simple and people dream and sing under trees. When I hear African music, I remember the beautiful people that came and shared their culture with me. As a kid it is easy to take that for granted. Its easy until you hear it again years later and it haunts you to imagine a world without it. Then I think about how long its been since I heard it last.

Q: What is the most effective way to create a change in the world around you?

A: By changing yourself.




Bob Marley reached the entire world with his music. What did he do to reach out to people? What was his message?

There has been a lot to write about lately and yet every time I've sat down to talk about myself, it just hasn't been something I could get into. Most of my time is spent being very active and interacting with as many people as I can. Learning, teaching, sharing, and trading. This even flow of exchange and honesty and love is flowing from me. The ups and downs have stopped. But this precious experience is only through practice, practice, practice. I cannot let myself strain from practice. Every day there is chanting, meditation, and rejoicing. Life becomes richer for me every day as this is my activity.

( About Medicine and Non-Medicine )
People that I love, I give this Medicine to you and ask that you share a Medicine with me. Because trade is the new law of commerce.

Who says punk is dead?

It is my wish to share a practice that I've been developing for myself that may help others with their connection to Dreamyland. It is not meant to replace other techniques, but can create an interesting compliment to your existing work.

It begins not during the day and not before bed.
Instead, it happens first thing when you wake up.

( Details )

April 3rd + $20 = Infected Mushroom
http://www.wantickets.com/EventDetail.aspx?e_id=38177
the Show is at Axis Radius

Not shortly after it seemed that the Congo began to recover, Kenya took a nose dive into the very thing that had been a problem for the Congo. A doctor that normally saw 1 rape case a week started seeing 45 a day. Thats one doctor, one clinic. And instead of it being one attacker, now it was gang attacks. And the youngest he saw was a 2 year old. Another girl, 10 years of age, was treated for severe cervical damage. Its like there is some entity moving across Africa and sucking the life from the people, the hope from the women. Its a strange idea. So if you have a moment, there are many women in Kenya that could use a prayer today. And also a prayer for the purification of the Earth. May you all have a wonderful day and find much to rejoice in.

Misty In Roots performing... um... well, I don't know. Actually, I stumbled upon this by accident and fell in love but it doesn't say the name of the song. And despite their wonderful 40-year career, this band is completely unknown to me.



Btw... did you know they have a John Peel Day in the U.K.? Gotta love John Peel!!!

"Bam bam", Sister Nancy
Jah, Monsterfari!!!

Sometimes when I'm listening to Right Road To Zion, I imagine three ghost-like African women walking down a dirt path. As they wander away they are singing the haunting words "right road to Zion". And I imagine that Zion isn't a place they are going but a way of getting there. The way of being virtuous. They're wearing bright colors and holding water jugs on their heads the way the Indian girl in the Jungle Book did as she lead Mowgli down the pathway. Perhaps its not authentic. Maybe African women don't really wander around with jugs of water on their heads. Its just my imagination so it doesn't really matter. The road disappears and the women fade into the song. Its beautiful and inspires me every time I hear it - towards a virtuous nature. Fortunately for me, I get to hear it nearly every day on pandora.

What inspires you towards virtuosity?