I did a lot of praying today, followed by chanting from Ways Of Bodhisattva (Vigilant Introspection). Though my situation has felt hopeless for a while, I've continued to trudge on every day in pursuit of a improving my life. The hard work may be starting to pay off. Staffmark says they have a place for me to work second shift in the semiconductor field for a place called White's Electronic Designs. I don't care what it is or what it pays. I just want to get my shit back together for a little while and start taking strategic actions toward my goals. Wish me luck!

My hair is long with most of it in my natural color (auburn) with bright pink in the front. Scroll down for image. I'm looking for some hair advice/opinions.


Poll #1491949 Hair Fate
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 14

What should Starlyn do about her hair?

Other: please specify

Today was an exceptionally productive and fun day. I turned in two more apps on the way to meet Brian's wife, Anne. She took me to Goodwill and let me do some pants shopping. I got six (relatively) new pairs of pants that I'm very happy with. Then we had lunch at Red Lobster and I ate until I was sooooo full. The waiter was very handsome and I felt a powerful spark. For all I know it was in my mind but it sure did feel nice. Brian and I did some exciting car repairs together and then we had a grilled hot dog dinner. After that I went to a women's promotional bike clinic at Landis and had a really fun time there and learned a whole lot before rejoining the Albings at their home to make smores over their new fire pit.

My departure from Wolffe's is scheduled for December 1st. I will stay at Brian's for a couple of days to help my cat adjust to her temporary home. I've been asking people for places in or near Tempe that I can crash for 28 days until my roomie from Houston arrives. Although there is still one more lead that I need to investigate, the current idea is going between two good friends as to not be a burden on anyone for too long. Although it will be a rough month - there is a strong sense in me that certain energies are at work and to just relax and go with the flow.

Saturday was an extra exciting day for me.... I slept for 4 hours, went to a very challenging African dance class, played on a playground, was treated to lunch at True Food and tea at Teavana, got to be a part of a friend's nipple piercing experience, attended a gong meditation, and then wrapped it up with chilling with some friends and my daily kriya and chanting exercise. It was a very catalytic day. Now it is bedtime. :)

Today I worked on my pursuit of employment, blew up my bike tires with some help from Brian, gave my snake a bath, did some extremely frugal shopping, made more curried chicken and lentils (with plump golden raisins, of course!), performed my daily kriya and chanting (11 out of 40 days), showered, and harvested my first homemade batch of kombucha.
It has been a full day already and the night is still young. I'm trying to decide if I want to be super woman and attend a whole crap load of things or just attend the one thing I was counting on for sure (Joi's party). I'm going to have some dinner, take a power nap and then figure out how I feel after that. Be safe, everyone!

Speaking of a day in the life... they should do a reality show about dirty hippies. That would be awesome!

This is the first image (courtesy of Brian) of a new painting that I'm working on. I might have another update in the next couple of days and there are several other paintings that I want to create. I have a bunch of ratty old boards that I dumpstered because I'm too poor to afford new boards from the Home Despot.

( Symbols... )

Hope you enjoy!

I'm heading out with Brian and Liz in a bit to camp at El Dorado hot springs, an hour W of the Phoenix metro. I cannot wait to enjoy the warm water and open desert.

This week began a 40 day dedication to myself, my path, and my healing process. The week prior to this one I fell into a deep depression. Between the crazy dude I dated, my out of town friend who disrespected me, eating too much refined sugar, and an assortment of other such unpleasantries... I was really starting to feel like a worthless person. Depression has haunted me most of my life. This year has been fairly depression free, all things considered. But I'm not bullet proof.

So this 40 day dedication is toward healing from emotional trauma. It involves:

1.) Invocation
2.) Kriya for healing emotional trauma
3.) Peace Chant

Invocation:
Om (extended) x3
the first three yoga sutras in sanskrit
Om (extended) X3
-each Om represents a different idea: the self, lineage of teachers in the world, all of creation. It is also helpful to dedicate a different dristi for each Om. For example, my first dristi is the bindi on my bodhisattva statue, the second is at the picture of the desert that hangs on the wall over my statue, and the third is the third eye.

The Kriya I am doing is one I found on youtube:
Kriya for healing emotional trauma
Yeah, that stuff is not easy. It is highly effective, as I'm already showing a huge improvement... however, I would recommend that anyone who wants to do this should do 40 days of the Kriya of Liberation first.
-I find that it is helpful to count breaths, breathing very slowly. I've discovered that at my normal slow pace, I breath about seven breaths in 3 minutes. This works for either. I typically count to the 18th breath and then check my timer. Yes, there is a timer on my shrine altar. I'm hardcore.

3.) Peace chant is fairly flexible. I made it up myself...
Om shanti nam Om.
Om shanti nam Om.
To those I've trespassed against, may you find peace.
To those I've trespassed against, may you find peace.
To those I've trespassed against, may you find peace.
x7
-at the very end I add an extra "Om shanti nam Om" x2

It takes me about an hour to an hour and a half to do all this. I generally do it at the beginning of my day. I've played around with other times of day and find that the highest success comes with early. If I pass out on the couch, covered in chocolate in0 sauce at 2:00am and neglect to do my spiritual/healing work, than I have to start over from square one. Even if it happens on the 39th day. So it is important to start the day off with my dedication to healing myself. It also feels good and gives me a bit of an extra boost.

Anyways... I hope this finds you well, my friends. Have a wonderful weekend. I'm off to the springs.


P.S.
sorry for the length... LJ flips out when I try to use cut-tags with other code involved... and I have to get ready to go. No time for dicking around.

What I think about someone or something is less important then how I act in the world. Often I feel failure to treat others the way they want to be treated. To better align myself with considerations about what my actions do in the world, I take time to heal myself and to chant for better actions toward others.

There is no special time or place. Either during house chores or in front of an incensed shrine, either will do - because our mantra does not end when we leave the "sacred" space. All of creation is sacred. Our mantra is ever part of our every day life. What we put out into the world is a part of the continuing ritual of living.


Also, this Monday is a very special event. It is extra special, as a matter of fact. Not only is it the Day of the Dead, but a Full Moon will be rising AT SUNSET >>> CHECK THIS OUT!!! <<<

Last night was full of awesomeness. Got pretty wasted and sung praises to Creator in a jam session with some seriously awesome musicians. They just started jamming and we all were singing our hearts out. I really want to learn an instrument. Today I got to go play with clay at MCC with Alecia (SO MUCH AWESOMENESS!) - which is extra enjoyable because she has an MP3 player full of good reggae. Tonight holds some potential for adventuring with Charlene if she happens by. Otherwise I will just lay low and listen to dub step and be in some yoga, perhaps. Ooh... I feel like playing with my prayer drum now. I hope the day is treating you well!

I have to say that dipping Nilla wafers in heavy whipping cream while incredibly baked has got to be one of the most satisfying things I've done today.


url:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivW8f8hfbAg

If I get to go out on Halloween I think I'm going to dress up as a cave woman - complete with loin cloth and necklaces of bones and teeth!!!

I'm back from my fast and glad that I completed it. I decided not to talk much about my experiences for at least a week so I really savor them and keep parts of them just to myself. And now for the much anticipated shower, oh yeah!

url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRpcoi1bv_s

Jah Lights - Right Road To Zion:


link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llNW4EYgyB0

Good Stuff:

Scientist

Misty In Roots

Bob

the Upsetter

John Holt

Mad P & Lee P

Twin Roots

MmmmmmORE Marley

BAD BRAINS!!!

Eek A Mouse just gave me nightmares for the rest of my life

Pato Banton

the good UB40 song has nothing to do with wine

A windfall of odd jobs came my way so I earned some extra food and might get some money soon. That will help me enroll in SWIHA and start to fix up a car that a friend is giving me. Tomorrow I'll be trying out a new (new to me) sweat lodge. A good ritual bath is in order.

Life keeps going - so I go on with it.

I don't think that "sanity" is a reasonable goal. Balance is an indication of good health. If we try too hard to rid ourselves of impurities - this seems compulsive in its own way. Its like germ phobia... we want to pretend that our minds don't have dirt in them.

We are dirt.
And our lives are dirt.
When we die, we eventually turn into dirt.
So why not just accept that there is mud in the brain?

At the Rainbow Gather I was gifted with a set of three candles. They were actually kind of funny... being colored yellow to mimic bee wax and then they put a little fancy sticker with cave-art stick drawings of hunters and animals with an added finish of a thin piece of fake twine around each and a coin. I had an intuition that the candles had something to do with my internal emotional challenges but didn't get the feeling to start burning them until a week and a half ago. Soon after I was gifted with a women's book about I Ching and how to read it. In order to do an I Ching reading - you need (3) two-sided coins. And these three strange candles just so happened to have a two sided coin with Chinese writing on each one.

I did my second I Ching reading today. I asked:
Will I, Starlyn Ann Munzer, succeed (feel fulfilled) in having a healthy, committed relationship?

Answer: 56 Lü: the Wanderer {Fire/Still Mountain}
"A mountain waits, but flame moves quickly upward, the trigrams do not meet. A young woman chooses to live on the road. She leaves her community through restlessness or not knowing where to go, but carries her joy, pain, and loneliness within. The Superior Woman seeks learning and spiritual peace by the roads she travels. She has freedom, and a mobility her Sisters envy, but does not lack inner or outer difficulties. She is the flame: her lover and matriarchy are mountains waiting at home."

There is more but I think that sums it up.

Cool. I always wanted to be an anti-hero. I still have a soft spot in my heart for under-dogs, though. Underdog is so awesome.



Bless you, sir.

Finally...

This week is my week of "getting back in the saddle", essentially. I've been going through a delayed healing process. At 31 it isn't easy to start over. Its never easy at any age, but I think the older one gets the more we can cave into perceptions of "what we should have accomplished by now".

But I have much to be grateful for. And although things are not easy, they are certainly very good all things considered. I am trying to bare in mind that my challenges are still relatively mundane and that I still have an excellent opportunity to re-engineer my life and spend my time working to fulfill the perceptions that I have of my life purpose.

My week of reckoning:
1.) Get rest of stuff back from Damon
2.) Get bed back from Justin
3.) Re-write my resumes
4.) Re-write cover-letters
5.) Apply
6.) Touch base with SWIHA
7.) If all is done, I get to go camping on Sunday with Brian and friends

Now that things have mellowed out for me I am taking a day to mellow myself out and start focusing on myself again. Earlier in the week I picked up my records and player from Damon. I had thought about just leaving them all behind but decided to go get them. I haven't heard my records in months. I nearly forgot how awesome they are... like my Nina Hagen.

Here is one of my favorite Nina Hagen songs: African Reggae



url:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldbK0d2Wa-g

MONSTERFARI!!!

Oh, and Hagen isn't the only white chick with rasta fever. Sinead O'Connor ordered the Perry Salad:
url: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mtCFE-CkM8

My mom is being discharged from the hospital today. The doctors were able to identify that she has Bronchiectasis. Its been a rough week for her and I'm glad that she is feeling good again and going home to her own bed. I'm so grateful to my friends who drove me up there every day, especially Alecia. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I taught yoga yesterday at Kiwanis. This was my fifth group class. Eleven people showed up and it felt good. In fact, that was one of my favorite sessions so far, despite the rough beginning (my voice decided to go out on me during the invocation chant). When Liz picked me up from the hospital yesterday she saw I was a bit worn down and asked me if I thought I could lead the yoga class. My only thought was "yes, yes, yes... I NEED to do that right now". I need the yoga and the people. The people are awesome. They inspire me. They teach me.

( Needing help for SWIHA )